Kembali ke pojok : I'm not that girl

Aku memanggilnya Kakak, putri satu-satunya dari adik ibuku. Umur kami berdua dekat, hanya berbeda 2 tahun. Tapi kami tak dekat, karena sejak kecil kami dibesarkan di kota yang berbeda. Ibuku sering sekali bercerita tentang dia, tidak membuatku tambah menyukainya, malah sebaliknya aku sangat tidak menyukainya, karena dia selalu terdengar sempurna. Ketahuilah, tak ada hal yang lebih menyakitkan dari mendengar ibumu sendiri menyanjung-nyanjung gadis lain seolah dia berharap gadis itu putrinya, memuakkan.

Hanya 2 hal yang kuketahui sebagai persamaan kami : perempuan dan anak tunggal, selain itu aku merasa sangat berbeda darinya. Dia cantik, atau jika banyak yang mengatakan cantik itu relatif maka aku akan mengatakan dia menarik secara fisik berdasarkan standar umum : kulit putih, rambut panjang, tinggi, langsing, dan itu semua didukung oleh gayanya yang feminim. Aku, boleh dibilang hampir kebalikannya.Aku tak tahu apakah dari sananya kami sudah sangat berbeda, atau dari kenyataan bahwa selama ini kami selalu bersaing -lebih tepatnya aku ingin selalu bisa mengalahkannya. Selalu.

Kalau kakak menang satu perlombaan, aku akan berusaha untuk menang dua. Kalau Kakak juara kelas, aku akan juara angkatan. Kalau Kakak murid teladan kota, aku akan murid teladan provinsi. Kalo Kakak masuk ke jurusan favorit di universitas terbaik, aku masuk jurusan terbaik di universitas terbaik. Kalo Kakak lulus sebagai sarjana terbaik, aku lulus sarjana dan master terbaik. Aku akan melakukan apapun lebih baik dari dia! Itu terus berlanjut, bahkan sampai saat ini. Hanya, kali ini ada yang berbeda, sesuatu yang membuatku sangat kesal.

I'm not that girl...

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
[I'm not that girl - Elphaba & reprise by Glinda - Wicked]




Nope, I'm not being melancholy or else... it just I really, really want to watch Wicked musical... at least the one that will be played at Singapore Esplanade this December. I hope I have the opportunity to watch it :)

Hope and Pray

And if you don't mind

Can you tell me

All your hopes and fears

and Everything that you believe in

Would you make a difference in the world

I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation

Only you can make me

[Yuna - Deeper Conversation]

Independence month

August is always been an independence month in Indonesia, because we are commemorating our independence day at 17th August. But for me personally, this month is a whole new level of independency, I try to elaborate it in 3 points:

1. Independence from complaining!

"Work very very hard. Be honest and fair. Be professional. Be low-profile. And move very fast." - 5 principles by BJ Habibie

In the past semester, I think I busy nag around about my work and position and salary and whatever it has to do with my office. But then I come to realize that I'm not deserve to be like that yet.

Come to evaluate myself, Did I complete a doctorate degree in Europe in the subject that other people just dream about? not. Did I build a big industry that become the nation proud and giant leap in technology? not. Did I inspire a generation of youth about the dream of technology, science and industry? not. Did I serve as a president at the most chaotic time in this country ever? not. So, do I have the right to complain around and being lazy over a disappointment to system? of course NO!

Mr. Habibie has done all those things, has given a great contribution to this nation, has inspire generations of people and yet, he never find it enough. So why should I?!?!

Don't push your luck, because every man/woman's fortune is already written, if it's not the time... then it's not the time. I will just try my hardest and I have faith that Allah will give me equally.

2. Independence from rats!

Yes, rats! My territory a.k.a my room has been invaded by a rat and for the most bizzare thing ever happened, the rat think that my room is quite comfy to get labor, yes, get LABOR! THERE'S A RAT GET LABOR AT MY ROOM, UNDER MY BED! GROOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!

I can't even let myself look at those baby rats. All I did is waiting the help to get rid of those rats and then I clean up my room like a freak, to the point that I think that I behave like an OCD. After that grossy incident, I filed a complain to the landlady, but hey... like always, she seems to think that it's no big deal. Rats lady, RATS! What in the world you would think that a rat got labor in your room is no big deal??? So, I call it quit, I move out. I have rented out another room yesterday and will move in tomorrow. Sorry, I fear snake, and rat is snake's snack, so I always scare that there will be snake appearance if there are rats, it's a nature... food chain. No tolerance over this one.

3. Independence from credit card debt.

Unfortunately, it is still an on going process. But heyy... I have a quite good progress. I accept the fact that credit card is the most convenient payment method ever existed, please note that you don't have to pay the bill in full amount. But then I remember what my ex-boss have said to me,

"it's alright not to pay your bill in full, but if you spend the money to pay the interest into some investment, it will be more profitable to you" (it's my roughly translation from bahasa to english).

Then he gave me the illustration, that if I spend the same amount of money for interest monthly into investment, like reksadana maybe, in 15 years I will have enough money to send my child to a good university in UK. Holly crap, UK!!!

So I bear it in mind : no credit card interest means investment, investment means college in UK for my child, means she or he can go to college happily without bearing any worry about tuition fee. Means they can reach their education to the fullest and be a smarter man/woman than their mother. That seems really nice to do. So, I close one of my credit card and pay full the other, it feels very light for my next monthly expense also.

That's a wrap for now. I will have tons to do before the Eid holiday. Move out, break fasting with LSS 04, break fasting with elektro 04, and of course mudik... (please ya Allah, give us a decent traffic *pray*). So, happy holiday everyone, and do your last days of ramadhan wisely, it will be a whole year before you meet one again, hope that we all have the opportunity to meet the next ramadhan :)

English, Bahasa, dan Basa

a little break from posting in english....

GW BOSAAAAANNNNN!!!

Pengen tertawa sendiri dengan kenyataan bahwa setiap saya posting dengan menggunakan bahasa adalah untuk marah-marah atau mengeluh. Sebegitu tak indahkah bahasa tanah air saya sampai saya hanya bisa menggunakannya untuk mengeluh?

Jangan salahkan palu ketika jarimu terpukul, jangan salahkan pena ketika tulisanmu tak terbaca. Intinya, bukan bahasa yang jadi masalah, tapi memang saya kurang bisa menulis yang indah-indah menggunakan bahasa, alias taunya emang cuman bisa marah-marah :)

Tapi ternyata kasus ini hanya berlaku untuk saya seorang. Beberapa teman bisa menulis dengan begitu baik pakai bahasa (dimana saya berusaha menulis dengan english supaya lebih keren kebacanya), dan oya... ada juga yang mendedikasikan blog nya untuk menulis sajak dan puisi.

Tarolah Hasan Aspahani sebagai contoh. Blog Sejuta Puisi-nya adalah satu blog yang saya sering kunjungi. Sajak dan puisi buatannya begitu bagus sampai saya merasa malu sendiri sebagai orang yang 20 tahun lebih berbahasa indonesia tapi tak bisa menulis dalam bahasa sebagus itu (walau pakai english pun gak pernah bagus-bagua amat sih...). Sajak Hasan Aspahani buat saya terasa jujur, mengungkapkan hal-hal sederhana menjadi sesuatu yang mengundang imajinasi. Saya sudah lama berusaha mencari buku kumpulan sajak beliau, sayangnya belum berjodoh untuk ketemu saja dan bahkan beberapa hari lagi kumpulan sajaknya yang baru akan diterbitkan.

Saya selalu ingin bisa menulis puisi. Ibu saya bilang dulu waktu kecil saya punya buku kecil yang isinya kumpulan puisi buatan sendiri. Hmmm... aneh, karena saya sendiri tak pernah ingat saya bisa menulis puisi :P

Kembali ke bahasan mengenai bahasa. Sebagai orang sunda, saya juga menguasai sedikit basa sunda. Dan setelah saya pikir-pikir ternyata saya hanya bisa menggunakan basa sunda level pergaulan, alias kasar dengan banyak 'mah', 'tah', 'maneh', 'urang' dan 'siah'. Hihihihi... karena memang setelah diingat-ingat, yang mengajarkan saya basa sunda itu teman-teman sekolah waktu SD, dimana level pergaulan lah yang dipakai. Kemampuan basa saya sedikit meningkat ketika saya bergabung dengan Lingkung Seni Sunda saat kuliah. WOW... orang-orang ini ada yang bisa membuat tembang, narasi, puisi dan lain-lain menggunakan basa sunda yang se-kecap pun saya baru dengar saat itu (dan saya agak yakin ayah dan ibu saya yang sunda tulen pun tidak akan begitu mengerti saat membacanya). Pada awalnya saya berpikir basa sunda saya akan lebih baik karena LSS, pada akhirnya saya tahu itu tidak terjadi. Mungkin basa sunda saya lebih lancar, tapi ya dengan kenyataan karena banyak saya gunakan untuk marah-marah juga (seharusnya saya gak pernah ngambil posisi di evaluasi -_-).

Jadi, kesimpulannya, mau menulis dalam apapun saya paling fasih ketika memakainya untuk marah-marah. Kenyataan menyebalkan yang perlu segera diubah. Syukurnya, saat saya belajar nederlands saya tak diajarkan cara marah-marah lebih dulu, tapi bagaimana memesan makanan dan minuman, sedikit perbaikan :)

Transformers 3 - Dark Side of the franchise

Just Trivia...

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Lennox : "no sign of Optimus?"

No Lennox, Optimus actually has a hard time TRAPPED in a web of chain and waiting for the autobots to free him, What the &%$@???

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Rossie Huttington Whiteley can be a Victoria Secret Angel with glorious face, great hair, hot body and killer legs, but she's just so unimportant in the movie to the point I hope she's not there at all.

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Too much robot can kill you, in term of you got confused to death which one is this, and which one is that. I can't recognize all the robot.

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It just a boy universe, where a jobless Ivy league graduate can save the world, have an alien Chevy camaro as car and hot-girl that irrevocably in love with him.

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It's freaking two hours and 30 minutes long movie!!! And that Shia boy is so insignificant in the first half of the movie...

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*will update when I'm in the mood for writing more sarcastic things...

A thin line between Hero and Pirate

Just a little conversation in the sea of forest of Mermaid Island, between Jinbe the Sichibukai and Strawhat Monkey D. Luffy.

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Image via Wikipedia

Jinbe : "If you're going to do this, don't be the brutal human that smashed Hody (mermaid villain), be the hero of this island!!!"

Luffy : "Hero?! Forget it!!! We're PIRATES. I love heroes but I don't want to be one!! Do you know what it is to be a hero??"

*pause*

Luffy : "Let's say you have some meat, okay? Now, a pirate would chow down on that bad boy, but a hero would share it with everyone!! I WANT TO EAT MEAT!!!"

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So, in the bottom line, A hero will share what he want with anyone, but pirate will take it all down with them. Maybe they do the same good deeds, but with different perspective and motive... how interesting :)

NB: Monkey D. Luffy is the captain of Strawhat Pirate in the japanese manga One Piece. He maybe stupid with animal-level IQ, but very strong, loyal to his friends and has a clear vision. I love him :D

Rock of my life

"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family

In your head, in your head they are fighting"

[The Cranberries - Zombie]

I vaguely remember when the first time I'm listening to The Cranberries song, but I'm sure that the song is Zombie. It was on my aunt's self-made compilation cassette, and it was love at the first sound. From the acoustic intro, to the grunge feeling after that and finally Dolores voice. I've never imagine before that a girl's voice can be soft and bold at the same time. I remembered at the time I asking myself, "who is this girl???". And then I saw their first video on MTV. It's not Zombie, it's Promises, and I fell deeper in their music.

The last time The Cranberries held a concert at Jakarta, I'm still at highschool and impossible for me to attend the concert at the time. I remembered being sad, and more sad when I watch the news about the concert on TV. I always want to watch them live, and that dream comes to realization through Java Rockin Land 2011.

The moment I knew that The Cranberries has been confirmed as one of headlining band for JRL 2011, I bought the ticket. I even didn't care how much it cost or at what day they will perform, I bought the 3-days pass. Yesterday, I watched them and HELL it was GREAT!!!

They play all songs that I hope they will play.

From Analyse as the opening, to Dreams at the closing encore. When intro for Linger being played I throw my hands in the air, when I heard the rhythm for Salvation I dance, when I heard the first humming of Ode to Family I lost in thought, when the perform Zombie I scream my lungs out, and then when I heard the first verse of Promises I jump frantically. It was magical! Seeing Dolores with my own eyes. Realized that now she's almost 50 but still feel like in her top performance, scream out, jump from side to side of the stage and doing all the weird moves she always do at their concert. They also performed 2 of their newest songs from their upcoming album Roses, it title Tomorrow and Schyzoprenic Playboy, I don't really into the first but I love the later. I sang in almost all of the song, and scream in between. I never be so happy after watching a band performance before.

I left the main ground of JRL 2011 with wide smile across my face. Eventhough I felt dead tired I don't really care. I walk out from the JRL area with more happier heart than when walk in. I felt wonderful, it didn't matter that my back hurt or my feet feels numb, I have the rock of my life!