From a chapter of Trem's life

It's so crowded in here. So long from the last time we had a gathering. As usual, everybody talk, about their daily life, their current business, movies they watched recently, the hot gossip they heard, etc. I sit across the table from him. Trying to avoid his gaze, his analyzing look, his attention. I sit beside someone else, talk to someone else, laugh with someone else, act like there's nothing wrong, but there is something wrong, I know that. We never try to avoid conversation before, I never try to avoid having a conversation with him before. He always the one that walk beside me every time we hang out together, and today he's not, cause I don't allow him to.

Is it wrong?? am I wrong??? Is it wrong to avoid your desire for love to keep everything balance... like it usually is? am I wrong if I do that???

I hope it's just me imagining this. That his change of attention is just my false alarm. Yes, I hope at the end of the day... all of this is just happen in my dream.

And it kicks so hard, it breaks your bones
cuts so deep, it hits you soul
tears your skin and makes your blood flow
it's better that you know, that love is hard.