Learning in the hard way....

A week become an employee and I face my first personal problem... my 1-week-old shoes is ripped! Yes, it's a week old and it no longer wearable. DAMN!

With my income issue, I have an intention to reduce my monthly expense. Cause I know that I have to mange my personal finance by myself now with consideration of my future plan, like take S2 degree, buy new phone (Blackberry :D), buy new car, pay my parent go hajj, buy an apartment etc...etc... That's why when I searched for new home (a.k.a kos-an) the number 1 prior criteria is the one that is walking-distance away from office. And I got it, just 10 minutes walk from Wisma Mulia, nice home, nice neighborhood. Everything seems perfect at that time, the problem comes a week later, and not about the kos-an but when I walk 10 minutes on a not-so-smooth way to the office.

My new shoes is like my usual shoes : black and simply, with new addition: 1 cm wedges. I'm in a rush to move to Jakarta when I bought the shoes, that's why I didn't try the shoes properly and it's a disaster. I never got any major problem with heels, actually I like heels, as long as it has a reasonable size, but wedges??? I think we can't be friend at all. I can't walk properly with wedges, eventhough I walk in the smooth surface. The fact that I didn't try it properly give me a huge regret, because it's not a thirty-thousand-kota-kembang shoes, it's a twice-weekly-income shoes and for me it's not cheap at all. The effect... my foot hurt and now... my shoes hurt.

The initial intention with has a near home to office is to reduce transportation cost... but with wrong judment in choosing shoes the cost won't reduce, because I have to buy new one and it's equal with (maybe more than) the transportation cost that I have to spend in a month if I take bus everyday to office. So, the learn-in-the-hard-way results... don't buy shoes just because it's black and simply, don't buy shoes if you in a rush and don't buy shoes if it has wedges!

The jobless time is over....

I'm being lazy to update this blog lately. After my break-up with speedy, my internet usage is declining rapidly. So the point is not HOW LARGE my internet quota... the real issue is my internet-usage attitude.

Now, I got another source to connect to the web... my office network :D. I know that bandwidth's price is high, and some company limit their internet usage. So I feel really grateful that I got the service easily through WiFi with my personal laptop or the office's LAN, but with some limitation.

Yup, I'm not jobless anymore :) After so many jobseek trip, so many test and interview... finally...
Alhamdulillah... I'm an employee in probation at PT Telkomsel. Just have passed my first week, very interesting first week, hopefully that the weeks after will always better :) Wish me luck...

It's me... 18 years ago :D

The last time I come to my aunt's house at Jatinangor, I saw her newborn son's first picture. I said to my mother, 'mom, unfortunately, there's no photo of me before kindergarten'. Then my aunt said that she has my old photo, the one when I was just 2 or 3 years-old. She take the album and give it to me.

The first time I look at the photos, I laugh so hard. I can't believe it's me!!! The picture to the left is me (wow... I wear a dress... white-long-dress... can't believe it!), and another is me with my older sister Intan, my mom always dress us like twin when we were little, we were cute, weren't we?! :D

Hahaha... there's a time in history that I can call myself cute... something that will be just a joke if I say it today ;p

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Things I love from 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'...

• Vicky
• Try not to judge, I found that Juan Antonio-Cristina-Maria Elena kind of relationship is...*what should I call it?*...uniquely interesting ;p
• The opening song
• Barcelona and Oviedo
• The dialogue...
• The cafe where Vicky and Cristina has their first dinner in Barcelona.
• All the guitar play
• Penelope Cruz
• The narration
• Woody Allen :)
  
• The ending...

"only unfulfilled love can be romantic"

New book and New movie

Yesterday, I planned to spend my day at Zoe comic corner, re-read some stories or magazine. I did go to Zoe comic corner, but ended up just read a magazine and 2 shonen star, not even re-read a series of japanese comic.

Felt that I don't have any interest in anything with picture at that time, I left Zoe and headed to Books vintage bookstore at Dago Plaza with a search of new novel or anything interesting. I found book one of the Black Magician trilogy: The Magician's Guild for only 25 thousand rupiahs, hehehe... I bought the book, left the store and smile in the way home.

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Watchmen are coming...

The new issue of Movie Monthly is a new superhero movie called Watchmen. I never heard about watchmen before, so I read the article without high expectation. After finished read it, I really can't wait for the movie to hit the theater. There are 3 points that pull my interest to the movie:

1. It's not a superman-type of superhero movie, with almost perfect man/woman trying to save the world by him/herself as the main character. Watchmen actually a romance, romance about superhero, hahaha... another serious superhero movie... I really want to hug Christopher Nolan that started this trend :D :D :D
2. Watchmen movie is based on the graphic novel written by Alan Moore. Alan Moore who??? Hehehe... I actually never heard the name before, but if you know about V for Vendetta, From Hell and The Leage of Extraordinary Gentleman, then you should know Alan Moore, he is the man who created those stories. I love all those movies... that's why I have my expectation growing rapidly in my mind... the story must be awesome, so the next problem is... the director???
3. And the director is.... Zack Snyder, and I like him. The thing about Snyder, if he does a comic adapted movie, he try his best to keep the story and the visual to be the same as in the comic, like the one he did with 300. I don't really like Frank Miller's work, I hate Sin City and never had an intention to watch The Spirit, but I like 300 and all thanks to this young director.

So, for me it's all about the track record... I like Alan Moore previous stories that's why I think I will like Watchmen, so does with Zack Snyder, I like his previous works, so I think I will like Watchmen too, hehehe... we'll see...

Coeur de pirate

DOES ANYBODY SPEAK FRENCH??? Please listen to this, and tell me what it means :D

I found this wonderful french musician called Coeur de Pirate. Really have no idea what she's talking about and I don't even understand a single word in her myspace page.

Her songs is lovely!!! The genre is pop-classic-accoustic. I listened one track through myspace, Comme des Enfants (dunno what it means), and I like it... I browse several site but didn't find the place to download the whole album... sad... :(

Another chapter, another song : You make it real

It's so exhausting. The beginning of the year is always the hardest time of being a public accountant. Sometimes I really consider the opportunity to move to client's company, but hello... it's just my second year, everybody will think that I'm weak if I run away from this.

I take a deep breath and once again trying to concentrate. I do have a lot of work to do, but look at the senior... it's a shame to grumble around if I compare my work with them. Oh, I love my job... I love my job!

---

It's already 11 p.m and I still sit in my cubicle, facing my laptop, doing my job. Not much has been done in this last 3 hours, and I feel tired... so tired.

dddrrrrddd.... my phone vibrate... a message from... him...

I smile a little and open the message, like usual, it's short... one word and one mark: hungry?

I smirk... that was so him. I push the reply button and text : kinda, why?

Before I put away my phone, it vibrates, and once again just a short reply : come over, I bought some pizzas

I smile and reply : I'm afraid I can't, still not done for today...

And the reply : I know. Make it done. Come.

And that's it. I know him so well to understand that it's an order. I close my eyes, doing a quick calculation and planning, yeah... I can finish it tomorrow. So I get up from my chair, clean up my table, shut down my laptop and go.

---

20 minutes later, I come to his apartment. I have the key, no need to knock. The front foyer is dark, but I can hear the TV from the inside. I come in and so there he is, sit on the sofa, eyes on TV. In the table there are a large pan of my favourite tuna pizza and some cans of Pepsi, still whole. I smile, I know him, he doesn't like tuna and soda, but he knows me and what I like. I turn to the kitchen and bring along a bottle of mineral water, then sit beside him, put the water in the table.

"you're not the kind to watch F1 race" I said.
"there's no other thing" he said.
"it's almost midnight, why don't you sleep?"
A moment of silent then he answer, "cause I know you still awake".

I'm looking at him, he still looking at TV, pretending to watch that boring race. And I laugh quitely.

"you said you're hungry, just eat" He ordered.
"ok" and I give him a quick kiss on his left cheek, "thanx for the pizza". So I start to eat, a little difficult because my lips still trying to smile widely.

That's him. Simple, less talk, and nothing romantic about our relationship. He just a kind of man that know how to make me feel safe and relax, gives a little pause in my hectic life.

There's so much craziness surrounding me,
There's so much going on it gets hard to breath
When all my faith has gone you bring it back to me,
You make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak,
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me

From a chapter of Trem's life

It's so crowded in here. So long from the last time we had a gathering. As usual, everybody talk, about their daily life, their current business, movies they watched recently, the hot gossip they heard, etc. I sit across the table from him. Trying to avoid his gaze, his analyzing look, his attention. I sit beside someone else, talk to someone else, laugh with someone else, act like there's nothing wrong, but there is something wrong, I know that. We never try to avoid conversation before, I never try to avoid having a conversation with him before. He always the one that walk beside me every time we hang out together, and today he's not, cause I don't allow him to.

Is it wrong?? am I wrong??? Is it wrong to avoid your desire for love to keep everything balance... like it usually is? am I wrong if I do that???

I hope it's just me imagining this. That his change of attention is just my false alarm. Yes, I hope at the end of the day... all of this is just happen in my dream.

And it kicks so hard, it breaks your bones
cuts so deep, it hits you soul
tears your skin and makes your blood flow
it's better that you know, that love is hard.