[Kembali ke Pojok] I Must Have That Man

I don’t know what happened, but jazz seems to be back in style lately.

It’s quite common to have people blasted John Coltrane or Billie Holiday from their overly expensive speaker. Once again internet prove to be a much powerful medium of music enlightenment for the mass market. Maybe God can try to spread His message through internet as well, maybe open a social media account that millions can follow? Maybe those mid-up educated class can be more open to the idea of divine being when they can click “like” or “love” over their phone display.

Oh yeah, I’m raving, I’m sorry. My sarcasm usually goes stratospheric after a full session of Billie Holiday. Not because of miss Holiday specifically, it is more because of one particular person that I’m unintentionally associate with miss Holiday. Let’s call him Hades, just like how miss Holiday describe such a person like him.

Who Ilsa really loves?

I might never get the exact answer for this.

I have that question alive in my head for 24 hours, since the first time I watched Casablanca. I watched again and still I cannot tell. Roger Ebert once said that "she paint his face with her eyes", and my... hers were a beautiful one. Do the mix look of longing and regret can be one of the indication? Or can I have a personal opinion that she loves Rick because the other man act so stiff I believe he cannot walk properly. But really, who Ilsa Lund really loves?

The goal of a corporation is to maximize shareholder's value, true or not true?

I have gone through financial management course this last two weeks. Learning about money, capital, debt and other things that is so fundamental capitalism. The above question is the first question asked in the class by our professor. And yes, the answer is 'true'. But then, come up another question, is it right or not right?

Lit the little squirrel: Observation day

Once upon a time, in a country far north, lives a little squirrel named Lit. Lit is a highly discipline squirrel. He believes that the key to success is to maximize the use of his valuable time. He has a packed daily schedule and he extremely punctual to it.

Today is what he calls observation day. When the Bell Tower in the middle of University of Michigan central campus rings 6 times, he is already stationed at his favorite branch of his favorite tree situated in the middle of the Diag. Students from the university usually spend their afternoon there, just to pass time, reading books or just lazying around. This is the time when Lit can freely observe them and learn more on how to be a successful squirrel, after all, they say it is one of the best university in the country. 

Lit looks around and then he find something that seems interesting for him. There is this one girl. Lit recognize the girl. She always spend the afternoon at the Diag with her thin box that has picture and words in it. Today, the girl also have that thin box with her, but unlike the usual, she looks gloomy. She keeps looking at the thin box, tapping on the surface and sad expression comes to her face. Little Lit feels curious. The girl usually very lively, a little stupid perhaps, because sometimes she laugh by herself when she reads. So, this is unusual of her. Lit decides to approach the girl. 

He climb down his tree and running across the Diag and hops to the girl's side. 

Blue is the color of the sky!

GO BLUE!

If I said that, can you guess what I will write next?
Yups, after quite a battle and a lot of consideration, I choose to go north, University of Michigan Stephen M. Ross school of business. This announcement is late though, because I am already doing the courses for the last month. Apologize for that, everything happened so fast.

Commitment of Independent Nation

Since I graduated from high school, 17th of August always pass by as any other day for me. It's just one of those rare public holidays. I celebrate it more as an opportunity to stay at home all day, rather than to reminisce the fact that my country declared its independence at the day many years ago. The celebration of independence day has lost its meaning for me.

Before 98 reformation movement and I still at grade school, I am required to attend official ceremony every 17th of August. We all will stand obediently at our school yard, watching our national flag being hailed, listening to the Declaration of Independence being read, listening to written speeches about nationalism, and others. But then, the ceremony’s over, we all are being dismissed and everything we’ve heard and watched at the ceremony forgotten, let alone remembered for its meaning. However, at least we do that. We force ourselves to wake in the morning at public holiday, go to our school and stand at the yard for approximately one hour. At the very least, we are aware of the celebration.

Today is the 68th anniversary of Indonesia’s independence. I have breakfast with my friend at nearby coffee shop in the morning, chat around about works and friends, come home and stay for the day. No attending any ceremony. No singing national anthem. No listening to any nationalism speech. Am I becoming so ignorant about my country?

At my first Toastmaster club meeting last thursday, I got an interesting topic for my speech, “please tell us the importance of independence and liberty”. Raking my brain to works, I try to find the right words to answer it. To explain the importance of independence, first you have to understand what it means to be dependent. And it’s hard to explain something that you never been into. How I understand the importance of being independent nation?

Say if, at today 68 years ago we’re not declaring our independence, will I be leisurely sitting in a cafe and type down this blog post? Will I be even exist? Because who knows if my parent will meet each other if they are still at war. I think it over this afternoon, between my second cup of latte and affogato desert, and realize how I have always taken my country and independent for granted.

I watched a speech by pak Anies Baswedan in a virtual independence day ceremony from 2 years ago. He start his speech with a statement, “kemerdekaan tidak hadir semata-mata untuk menggulung kolonialisme, tetapi untuk mencapai keadilan sosial bagi seluruh rakyat Indonesia” [Independence is not only about ending colonialism, but also to fight for social justice for the people of Indonesia]. Highlighting on the optimism to meet this objective, he told the commitment made by our founding fathers with the declaration of independence. That independence is the statement of optimism toward a better way of life, a commitment to be fulfilled.

Most Indonesian, like myself, have become skeptical citizen. Always questioning the government, complaining about the country, complaining about fellow Indonesian. It’s easier that way, when we are being ignorant of our own responsibility and blamed others for the chaos. But the commitment of independent nation is not just made by our founding fathers. Remember that the declaration state, “We, the people of Indonesia...”, we are the people of Indonesia, we are all bound to that commitment of social justice.

Like pak Anies said, let's make celebration of Independence as a celebration of success. A success of fulfilling our commitment of social justice for the people. Instead of being ignorant and blame others, we can look around and try to make small effort in fulfilling that commitment. Help others, share optimism and positive attitude. After all, nothing will accomplish through whining.

Let’s celebrate our effort, then let’s celebrate our success. Happy independence day fellow Indonesian.

Kami, bangsa Indonesia, dengan ini menjatakan kemerdekaan Indonesia.Hal-hal jang mengenai pemindahan kekoeasaan,d.l.l., diselenggarakan dengan tjara saksama dan dalam tempoh jang sesingkat-singkatnja.

Djakarta, 17-8-'05

Project Code Name: Sangkuriang!

Try to stop at the Pasupati bridge in Bandung, face north, you will find a unique shaped mountain. In the shape of upside down boat, it is the Tangkuban Parahu. For local, the existence of Tangkuban Parahu revolve around a folktale of Sangkuriang and Dayang Sumbi. Pass and keep by generations of sundanese, the tale is a story of a young man, Sangkuriang, that try to marry his own mother, Dayang Sumbi. Blinded by his ego and lust, denied reality and try to commit a taboo. To prevent it, Dayang Sumbi ask for an impossible dowry: a giant lake that made from damming Citarum river and a giant boat with which she will sail the lake, all have to be done within one night. It is hard enough to dam Citarum river and make a boat, it also has to be done in one night.  Impossible as it sounds, but story told that Sangkuriang nearly made it happened, with the help of a thousand Jinns, before Dayang Sumbi trick him into failure. Magic is how the impossible happened, and trickery is how it failed.

The story is very well known and the name ‘Sangkuriang’ grow into a metaphor for doing the impossible. In our office for example, when a project needs to be delivered in impossible timeline and goal, we will call it “Project Sangkuriang”, because figuratively, we have to deliver it in “a night”. Once in a while, having this impossible task is good for self development. Give the team confidence that they can beat a great challenge. But having it too frequently to be normal, is like asking the team to transform from human to Jinn, and lets face it, divine intervention don’t do frequent request.

Tonight, between watching a floppy TV series about US college life and wondering how I have to write my scholarship presentation, I am questioning myself about my goal. Do I set a goal that seems so impossible to reach that I need magic or divine intervention to reach it?

Long ago, I set myself 3 goals that I want to achieve in life: better education, better job and better family. Compare to what? to the common standard of my family. In the first 24 years of my life (I turned 24 last month and had no will to write my annual birthday post, sorry about that), I can say that I have achieved the first 2 goals. I am among the first generation of my family that go to college, and I am the only one that made it to the top university in the country, that give me better education. I graduated in 4 years and get a steady job in the largest mobile operator in the country, indeed better job than anyone in the family ever achieved. And for the third goal, I can’t say anything about it yet, because let’s face it, getting a proper husband is not as easy as get admission to college or land a good job. So, I just need to be patient for this one.

And then come along the boredom. What will you do when you still can't complete your task yet, and you have to wait for God knows how long? Escalate the level of existing achievement! Between education and job, it seems that the first one is more appealing, it will bring more possibilities in the future, including achieving the third one. So, I set focus on the first. Who knows that it turns to a continuous effort for 3 years with many complication popped up in the middle. In the end, a sweet opportunity come in a package of Company Scholarship Program.

It felt too good to be true. I remember asking myself several times if I am finally succumb to uncurable delusion or somebody just get bored and hack HR system to send that scholarship program announcement as a prank. But it turned out to be true. The official announcement released, first test conducted, second test conducted and I passed. The odd is currently in my favor until this moment. Then come the third test: interview about study goal and target university. And they announce a list of target universities for us to choose, that is when I feel the odd slipping away from me.

Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Princeton, Yale, Columbia... name it! Ivy, world class, and every possible definition of greatness. Delusional as it is, the chance of me getting admission to those schools is the same as Pluto finishing its first revolution in my lifetime. Not impossible, but near impossible, how near? As near as my thumb and middle finger. There is an index in between, the first can give you thumb up, the other can give you the unspokable.

But when you achieved your goal early, it seems how far you escalate the level is not an issue. So why don’t shoot the impossible. Betting on the greatest so at least when you failed you end up with the second or third greatest? it is still the greatest anyway. That is what I do, shoot on the moon with a cannon from earth. Not a chance on looking vividly at the target, let alone have the power to shoot it straight, but as hell I will pass this opportunity without die trying.

This is my Project Sangkuriang. Unlike Sangkuriang, I can not and I won't employ thousands Jinn to help me out. But unlike Sangkuriang, my mother does not try to fail me, she back me up. I am not committing a taboo, I shoot at the impossible and I pray for the best divine intervention that can happen: God’s bless. My job is to try hard, and that is what I am doing. 

The very least, I'll end up with the second greatest: a better and wiser version of myself. Suit up!

Debriefing Edition: Quarter Life Crisis dan Kelas Inspirasi

[definition - The quarterlife crisis is a period of life following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.]

Ada masanya, ketika saya mendengar istilah yang didefinisikan di atas dan saya merasa tidak peduli, ada masanya ketika 'menjadi dewasa' adalah hanya satu bagian kalimat dari lagu yang dinyanyikan Sherina, dan ada masanya ketika saya menonton How I Met Your Mother dan berkomentar "naon sih?!". Ada masanya semua itu terjadi, dan sayangnya saat ini semua momen itu sudah lewat.

Dulu saat menonton HIMYM dan melihat adegan mereka duduk di kursi yang sama di bar yang sama selama bertahun-tahun, mengobrolkan pekerjaan, relationship, liburan, dan hal lainnya, saya akan berkomentar, "orang-orang ini kurang kerjaan banget deh nongkrong di tempat yang sama terus-terusan dan mengobrolkan hal yang kurang lebih sama" (hanya beda pelaku). Saat saya bilang 'dulu', itu maksudnya sekitar 5 tahun yang lalu. Sekarang, 5 tahun kemudian saya dan kawan-kawan, kurang lebih melakukan hal yang sama seperti Ted Mosby cs. 

My Phone!

I am a reader of Vanity Fair online and one of the feature that I always read is My Phone. It shows a trivia Q&A from some technology and culture figure about their phone and how they use it, accompanied by a snapshot of their phone's home page. It's quite interesting to read and quite shocking to know what apps they're using.

Well, in You've Got Mail, Frank Navasky said about '20th century most profound truth': You are what you read!

Maybe, the 21st century version of that quote is: You are what your phone do. :P

So, here's my version of My Phone

Your phone?

Samsung Galaxy SII. Subsidized phone from office, buy it with half price and with flat installment :D

Ringtone?

Minion's version of Beach Boy's Barbara Ann: Banana Song!

Case?

No case, getting tired of case.

Background image?

A cup of my favourite black coffee (Toraja Kalosi) and paper napkin with sketch from Djournal Coffee Bar.

Last text?

To my landlady, telling her I forgot to put her catalog in my laundry bag.

Most used apps?

1. Twitter -- twit is the best!

2. Mail -- since I've transferred to my current division, checking email via phone is absolutely necessary.

3. Chrome -- because default android browser is sucks, and it has inter device access.

Most useful apps?

Evernote! From meeting minutes to list-to-do, from blogpost draft to song's lyrics. I'm taking notes everywhere with any device I own, eventhough I don't need to.

Total apps?

81 apps, but maybe just using 1/3 of it :P

Currently obsessed with?

Path, join it recently, and Nike+ apps because I'm in training for Bali Marathon 2013.

Last downloaded apps?

Nike+ running.

Text or call?

Call, I'm not the one paying my phone bill anyway :P

Twitter, facebook or path?

Twitter, the simplest the best!

Remaining battery at the time you finish answer it?

On charging, 18%. Charging it twice a day. 

Film Habibie & Ainun dan Kenapa Kelas Inspirasi penting

Kemarin sebuah twit dari @atiekpuspa membawa saya ke sebuah blogpost darinya yang berjudul "kenapa kelas inspirasi gak penting?"

Sebagai pengantar, beberapa waktu ini saya memang sedang semangat-semangatnya jadi provokator untuk program Kelas Inspirasi. Satu program nirlaba yang di inisiasi oleh Indonesia Mengajar dan beberapa profesional, yang memfasilitasi para profesional untuk berbagi mengenai profesinya dengan anak-anak SD. Tahun lalu, saya sudah semangat-semangat ingin turut serta di acara ini tapi ternyata karena beberapa hal jadinya hanya bisa jadi penonton dari jauh (yang sebal hati karena cuman bisa nonton). Tahun ini, lewat satu obrolan kecil dengan Alia, saya dikenalkan ke Atiek dan bisa ikut serta di acara ini. 

Dalam post tersebut, ada satu pertanyaan Atiek yang saya tanyakan ke diri sendiri juga, 'mengapa saya ingin ikut mengurus kelas inspirasi?'. Kalau jawaban Atiek itu keren: "karena hal itu penting untuk semua pihak", jawaban saya egois banget: "karena saya merasa hidup saya akhir-akhir ini terasa garing!". Karena alasan keikutsertaan yang cukup egois itu, saya sebelumnya belum pernah memikirkan lebih jauh tentang konsep Kelas Inspirasi ini. Saya hanya merasa kegiatan ini cukup keren untuk diperjuangkan. Tapi kemudian, sebuah pencerahan muncul ke diri saya pada saat saya nonton film Habibie & Ainun.

New Year, New Optimism

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"  [Semisonic - Closing Time]

Another year pass, a new year start. What it means to have a new year started? new hope, new activities, new projects... for me, its new optimism.

Somehow, 2012 is a tough year for me. It started with so much disappointment, so many unfulfilled expectation and somehow, large portion of rage. I started 2012 as a bitter girl. There are so many challenges in my personal and professional life that left myself hanging by thin thread. Feeling lonely and isolated. Asked around 'what is my fault?' over and over again, and feeling that my confidence and self-esteem deteriorated slowly. And close to third quarter's end, I begin to think that maybe I'm not as good as I think I am. Lost hope, lost girl.

But then, the last part of 2012 God gave me what I called 'a little pat in the head'. It just a simple moment, watching your precious persons still there around you while you are being a sulky bitter witch. I feel like Allah grin at me and said, "I just gave you a bitter coffee and you start curse around like I gave you poison, seriously girl, grow up!' - well maybe not literally like that :D But that's how it all unraveled. The bitterness, rage and self pity. I feel liberated.

So, this is it. I close 2012 with a smile, a warm smile and a little look back and said 'thank you for the coffee, it was great'. I look ahead, grin, and said 'bring it on! I like coffee anyway'. There are so many things I still want to pursue. I'm still young, and I'm still not set the world on fire yet. And like that line in the beginning... last year's beginning was a bitter one, but it has come to an end, and that end comes with a smile and optimism. Let's start the year in optimism and hope that it will close with a greater state.

Kembali Ke Pojok: Journey

Mengapa garis pemisah jalur di jalan raya harus dibuat terputus-putus? Kenapa tak dibuat satu garis tegas memanjang? penanda pasti bahwa tak ada yang bisa pindah jalur. Tpi apakah memang harus dibuat setegas itu? Haruskan semua hal dibuat setegas itu? sepasti itu?

Aku menyukai hal yang pasti. Hampir semua pertanyaan dapat kujawab tanpa kata 'mungkin'. Jika aku tak punya jawaban, aku akan bilang 'tidak tahu'. Tak pernah kubayangkan bahwa ada saatnya aku akan membisu akan sebuah pertanyaan... tak pernah...

"aku ingin kamu jadi istriku" 

Tidak, itu bukan pertanyaan. Itu pernyataan sikap.

"tapi aku ingin kamu berhenti kerja, bisa?"

Ya, itu dia pertanyaannya. Pertanyaan yang membuatku membatu entah untuk berapa lama. Cukup lama untukku membayangkan ada mata Medusa atau Basilisk yang sedang memandangiku... apalagi yang bisa membuatku membatu selama ini.

Harmless conversation

There's nothing special on a dull Thursday night... Just a little harmless conversation between three friends over social media service. To be exact, three single girls in separate location with the same sudden interest toward a thing called 'endorfin' :)

Sometimes I think... Who needs boyfriend when you have ton of friends you can mess around with. At least it is better than another extreme proclamation like 'who needs boyfriend when there's work'...

Music : Feeling Good and iTunes Music Indonesia

I'm currently in the middle of an obsession toward one particular song, and unlike any other songs that I usually listen to, this song actually a jazz... The title is Feelin' Good, popularized by Nina Simone. I've been fascinated by the song for quite sometimes, and it has been covered by many singers, Muse for once, has covered it in one of the most popular cover song by an artist ever.

I don't know what attract me toward the song. But the moment I heard its opening phrase...

"bird's flying high, you know how I feel..."

I know I'm a goner. It's like having someone whisper on my neck and his breath tingle my spine. I don't really understand the meaning of the song. It feels more like the song that you will sing whenever you want to feel happy and good without paying attention to anything in particular. So, my playlist for the morning is just this one song but sung by many singers, from Nina Simone, Michael Buble, Muse, Rebecca Ferguson, to the current contestant of X-Factor USA, Carly Rose Sonenclaire. I love them all.

Another music related news. Apple finally open the iTunes music and movie store for Indonesia today.

I don't know whether to feel happy or down. I think as a user, I feel extremely happy. Finally, I can purchase the song I want to listen legally. iTunes library covers variety of genre from a wide timeline. It's not that difficult to find an old song there. 

On my professional side, I feel a little bit sad. Years ago, when I start my job at current office, my first project was an online music store. I feel quite a strong emotional bonding toward the service, eventhough I'm no longer in charge for it. So, after learned about the launch, for a moment I feel like there's somekind of evil aura haunted me from behind and threatening to throw me out of my place. It's like having a long time rival in the other school and abruptly he's moving to your school and snatched away your 1st place in class. Annoying to the level of infuriating.

I know that maybe I have to look at it on the brighter side. That maybe with the push of global player like Apple, finally Indonesia's music scene can move to a better condition. That maybe, starting from the higher economic level society, people will realize the importance of purchasing legal content. And with the fact that there is a widely known music store available, there's no longer excuses to buy or download the pirated one. In business side, well, there will always be enough business for us all.

I have purchased a song through it. I kinda feel foolishly dramatic when picking the first song I'll buy, I want to buy a song that I really like and appropriate to be a milestone of my digital lifestyle experience, buying a song through iTunes. So, after a long time browsing, I decided to buy Travis's Love Will Come Through. It is one of my all-time-favourite song, and accidentally, not part of my current songs library. I purchased it for IDR 5000 (approximately USD 0.5), a little cheaper than average song's price in US iTunes. The currency has already in IDR, for all store access from Indonesia has already changed its currency to IDR for a while. I browse through its library and found a genre of Malay and Indo Pop, featured singers and musicians from Malaysia and Indonesia. The library for this genre is still limited, but I think it just a matter of time until local artist put their musics in iTunes. Afterall, its the most reliable digital music store available right now.

Movie: Breaking Dawn part 2

First of all, I don’t even understand why I have the spirit to write about this movie while in fact, I had an incredible string of much better movies last month, to mention some of them, Skyfall, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt trifecta Premium Rush, Looper and 50/50. So, why Breaking Dawn pt.2? well, it simple, because finally this series is OVER!
Let’s see... I’m not the kind of hater or nay-sayers about the whole franchise. Actually, I’m among the earlier reader of Twilight saga and love it. But I have to make it clear that, the thing that I love about Twilight books is the conversation. I like the usage of somekind of what me and my friend called ‘middle-age demeanor’ that so trustingly embedded in Edward Cullen. And then, as infectious as swine flu, writers jump to ‘make-it-to-movie’ train and voila... 5 unbearable movies that make the series worse than it actually are.

Here the things, since the first twilight movie, I always thought that the cast is dead wrong. Not in term of looks, but in term of acting capability, well some sort in looks too, but not too much. I always get sick everytime I watched Kristen Stewart acts. She have that washboard face of her that actually look flat eventhough people try to rub an ugly thick carpet in her face. Seriously dude, where’s your expression???

And then come the teenage girl infatuation, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen. Well, at least he has some expressions, eventhough I don’t know why he have to look mushy all the time. He's hot, but I never imagine Edward as somekind of boy with stupid smirk and mellow eyes. And the others, ah... I can’t say anything about the others, there will be too much disappointment from me about the cast, so, I think it’s kinda late to go all wishy-washy on the cast, they already there for the whole series.

Long Weekend in Bandung: Trans Studio Bandung & Braga

We have a very long-weekend holiday last week. In spirit of celebrating Islamic new year, the government decided to pronounce last Thursday and Friday as public holiday. As usual, I went back to Bandung, but at this time I spent it most with my friends.

We finally visited Trans Studio Bandung at Friday. By 'we' I mean me, Ayu and Sonia.  The place itself has been an upcoming destination in Bandung since its opening at 2011. We planned it for quite sometimes, but never really get the chance. We decided to visit it at Friday with the hope that it wouldn't be as crowded as in Saturday or Sunday.

On Saturday, I have a lunch-date with Poets. She told me that there is an exhibition at Gedung Gas Negara at Jalan Braga. It got my attention immediately, because the building has been vacant for a long time and the last time I checked, it is in a very bad shape. The exhibition itself is part of an event hold by Ikatan Mahasiswa Arsitektur Gunadharma ITB. And Poets as part of Bandung Heritage Society also prepare some material to be exhibited in the event. We agree to meet at Braga Huis at lunchtime and then head to Gedung Gas Negara to watch the exhibition.

The exhibition was awesome! The theme of the exhibition are architecture, heritage and art. There are materials showed the architectural analysis on Braga area and also other old colonial buildings in Bandung. From the exhibition, I knew that there were actually 2 colonial time architect by the name of Schoemaker, they are brothers, Richard Schoemaker and C.P Wolff Schoemaker. The name Schoemaker has been tied to most historical buildings in Bandung. Bandung Heritage society also exhibit some materials regarding historical building preservation and some studies on urban planning. I found Poets's name on some of the materials and feels oddly smug because I come with her, just WOW. 

I left the exhibition at 5 p.m. The committee said that the exhibition has surpassed their expectation of attendee, there were more than 1500 people came in 1 week. I feel deeply grateful for the committee from IMA-G ITB for holding the event in the building. It just feels nice to finally see people with so much passion for heritage preservation. And most of all, I love people that love Bandung :)

Virtually New York

I always get fascinated by New York City. I love songs about New York, from the classic "New York, New York" to the modern one like "Empire State of Mind". Most of my favourite movies take place in New York, from "Breakfast at Tiffanys" to "You've Got Mail" to the recent "Premium Rush". I've never been to New York, but New York is the only city in the US that I want to visit.

And then, there's this magical thing from the 21st century called internet, that enable people from developing asian country with limited budget like me to wander around New York city without visiting it. I like to wander around New York through Google maps street view. Checking out Apple store at 5th Avenue, wondering about how nice it will be to reading a book on a bench under a big tree in Central Park, watching people jogging or toddler playing in the meanwhile. Sitting on the steps of Met Museum and taking picture of all those people hanging around there. Gazing up from the intersection of Time Square to the those giant billboards around it. And maybe walking along 5th Avenue toward the Empire State Building. Well, I've done that virtually and hope can do it literally in the future. 

In the mean time, I find this blog,  Humans of New York. It's a fascinating blog. When I'm wandering around New York through Google Maps street view for its scenery, then I will know a little about its people through this blog. The photographer, Brandon, take picture of stranger in the street of New York City and write short caption or description when post it to his blog. It's like The Sartorialist of common sense, not so fashionable, not so glamour, just real. The picture he take give people a story, and will make us wonder what does it feels to meet those many people, have a little chat while asking to take their picture. I admire his brave in engaging with stranger and his passion that transfer those photos into a fascinating stories. And I also envy his opportunity to meet those varieties of people, including the toddlers. 

I've been following his blog for quite sometimes, and I recommend this blog to people that always has a dream to visit New York City someday, and maybe to those that has interest to meet thousands of people with different stories, virtually. 

Terbang

Jalan ini terasa terlalu lurus. Papan penunjuk jarak jalan tol berlari melewatiku, 80? 100? 120 km/jam? Aku tak punya kemampuan untuk memperkirakan seberapa cepat mereka berlari ke arahku, atau mobil yang kutumpangi ini yang melaju melewati mereka? ada satu hukum yang menjelaskannya bukan? Newton? 1 atau 2?

Ah, aku tidak ingat. Dia selalu menceritakan semua hal rumit itu dengan senyum lebar dan mata berbinar, seperti orang jatuh cinta. Tapi apalah itu disebutnya jika kau jatuh cinta pada hukum fisika?

Aku menutup mata, masih sekitar 20 kilometer lagi sampai ke bandara, dan 12 ribu kilometer sampai Paris. Paris? bukan... dia bilang dia bukan akan ke Paris, Marseille lebih jelasnya. Aku tak pernah dengar nama kota itu sebelumnya. Satu-satunya kota di Perancis yang aku tahu adalah Paris dan mendengar namanya selalu membuatku berpikir, mengapa ada yang mau menamai satu kota dengan nama seorang pria romantis pengecut, atau dalam abad yang berbeda, nama seorang perempuan kaya manja? Yah, aku sendiri pun tak tahu mana yang memakai nama itu lebih dulu.

Dia akan berangkat ke sana tak lama lagi, sekitar dua jam lagi jika tidak salah, untuk satu tujuan... belajar fisika. Aku tak pernah habis pikir kenapa seseorang mau belajar fisika atas kemauan sendiri. Fisika memang menyenangkan, lebih mudah dimengerti dibanding Kimia, dan jelas lebih matematis, tapi tetap saja, aku tak pernah begitu mengerti apa yang bisa dilakukan dengan mengetahui bagaimana menghitung jarak lontar peluru ataupun dari menghapal semua hukum-hukum berbahasa aneh itu. Toh kalau sampai suatu saat aku melontar peluru, aku tak akan punya waktu untuk menghitung terlebih dahulu, itu pun kalau sampai suatu saat aku punya kesempatan untuk melontar peluru. Tapi dia menyukai Fisika seperti aku menyukai makanan.

Complication

It was on a depressed Wednesday night, after a very tough day, I had this little chat with my friend about marriage. He's already married his college sweetheart. Me on the other hand, is a lost girl. The one that don't want to be bothered with the whole dating or marriage thing whatsoever. I ask him one question that keep hanging in my mind...

"how can you let a stranger become a crucial part of your life, let your guard down for him/her and give her/him almost unlimited access to every part of you?"

Because that's what I thought about marriage. It's about letting someone in and hopefully, he'll stay there forever. But that person, eventhough you date him/her for as long as you remember, is still a stranger. You're not born with him/her, not grow up with him/her, not always together with him/her and above all, you have all the right to choose to be with him/her. So what's make a person so sure to accept someone unconditionally and make him/her a part of their life?

It took almost 2 hours after the conversation to get the answer from my friend. It's not really an answer, he gave me the basic reasoning. He said, there's a hint of worry and doubt in my question. The theme is classic, insecurity. Which is common for girls my age. Most girls -basically- are vulnerable and fragile, and they seek security and comfort in a relationship. On the other side, a man has an acute need of being needed. That even a jerk like Barney Stinson still want to be needed by girls because... well... he's good in bed. So, the bottomline is, when those two needs collided in overlapping timeline, finally meet, clicked and matched with each other, my question will be irrelevant. At that point, a couple will realize that what they want and need is take a step further and build a life together. No more question, no more reasoning. Just know that it's right.

It take me sometimes to think about his answer, and come to realization that my girl friends also said similar thing to me with different packaging... 'you just haven't meet the man yet'. I always take the answer like that lightly, but when I talk similar thing to a boy and he gave me different packaging of the answer (with all reasoning and so-called psychological analysis), I get it immediately. Sigh, maybe my brain is hardwired for complication, you have to explain a simple thing using quantum mechanic vocabulary if you want to get my attention. I'm that complicated. But maybe, sometimes I'll look at this subject with simpler mindset. Maybe, when the urge to be a relationship is high, when most of my close friend won't hang out with me anymore because of 'family-issue' and my family has barked loudly in my ears every now and then, I'll be forced to look at thing with simpler perspective. Maybe, someday it's not about trust issue anymore. Maybe, it just about having someone to spend the rest of your life with and prevent human race from extinction. We'll see.

Can you save me?

Lunafly - Superhero